Personal values serve as a direction, or a compass, to help guide behaviors and decisions.
Values outline a general path to follow, and then it’s up to the individual to follow precisely in the path, slightly alter the course, or stray away entirely.
Everyone has a gap between their ideal values and their actions at times. No matter how conscious a person is, everyone has moments where their actions don’t perfectly align with their designated values. Pay attention to when you feel regretful, as this may be an indication that your actions did not align with your values.
Values help to hold us accountable when we make a mistake and committed to maintaining the best version of ourselves.
When was the last time you stopped to consider what your values are?
Do you value honesty, family, achievement, leisure, health, integrity, respect, independence, self-growth, wealth, or philanthropy? If someone stopped you on the street, would you be able to identify your top five or ten values? My guess is that many people would not.
The thing about values is that everyone has them, but sometimes they are so subconscious that people don’t think about them on a daily basis. Yet they still guide behaviors.
People’s personal values can come from a variety of places including the values of their family of origin, of a particular religion, from a particular culture, from media and news sources, from a geographic region, and more.
When people are young, they most likely adopt the values of those around them. However, as people get older, more self-aware, and have increased diverse experiences, many will mold and shape their values to fit in line with their increased self and societal knowledge.
If you find yourself sitting there wondering about your particular values, I would recommend taking a values inventory to gain clarity on the values that are important to you.
Then take it one step further and after you have identified your personal values, critically examine your current behaviors/decisions and see how closely they align with your values. Think of the activities you fill your day with: work, time with friends/family, leisure, social media/television, athletics, volunteering.
Are you satisfied with how the activities that you fill the majority of your day fit your values?
Here is an online free values inventory that helps you to identify your values and develop strategies to work towards flourishing given your unique values.
Maybe you’ve been feeling a disconnect recently and you’re not sure why. Tuning into your values may be helpful in identifying where this disconnect is stemming from.
One of your values might be quality time with loved ones or health, yet you’ve been spending too much time working that you haven’t had a chance to spend time with friends and family or exercise.
Or maybe you value knowledge and self-growth, but you spend your free time watching television instead of reading books that interest you.
Or maybe you’ve been so determined to rise in ranks at work that you have had to push down the rising guilt of the people that you cheated to get there.
The thing about values is that they may be subconscious, but they pop up in conscious ways.
Maybe you haven’t been feeling fulfilled, or like you aren’t doing what you were meant to do. Pay attention to these feelings, instead of pushing them down, and make the commitment to re-evaluate your life.
Take note of where you could be living more in line with your values.
Volunteer in your free time instead of watching TV, vow to leave work earlier and make more plans with friends and family, or find a new career entirely if needed.
Living in line with your values is key to true flourishing and until you alter what is needed in your life, this disconnect will likely continue. Life is too short to give up on being more fulfilled.
Everyone has the ability to become more self-aware about what their values are, where they came from, and how well they are living in line with them. The key is being determined to gain that awareness, being able to learn from past experiences, and being dedicated to making choices that lie more in line with personal values in the future.
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If you are thinking that you would benefit from a trained professional assisting you in identifying your values and in working towards living more in line with these values, Jenna Gentry is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in the state of Virginia who provides therapy for Flourish Counseling Services. Read more about her practice, the services she provides, her experience, and contact information to schedule a free 15 minute consultation. Start your journey towards flourishing today!
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